Lord Brighton, you know me as the owner of a certain business in the town of Roxeter that you frequent on occasion in your travels.
A certain young woman from one of my businesses tells me you have some rather strange tastes that she has come to enjoy. I am sure you will remember this young woman, a young blond girl. One with, how did she say you put it, “A healthy set of bosoms that your head fits into quite well.” I was well amused to hear of your many demands of her and confidences you shared with her.
Perhaps you could do a favor for me in return. I have written the Queen requesting an appointment to Warden of the town of Roxeter. The Queen’s cousin is the Countess of Roxeter. I have made it known that I would gladly offer my services as warden, bringing order to these lawless lands.
I am sure that you, being an intelligent advisor to the Queen, would gladly recommend me to her for this position, and could make good argument of the value of my skills as a successful and profitable businessman for the position of warden.
As warden, I would be in a good position to guard your secrets and make sure that stories of your visits to my establishment and tastes never reach the Queen’s ears.
You know who I am sir, and of my many abilities and support in this town. There is little I cannot do for my friends or against my enemies.
Merchant of Roxeter